It’s Friday today. Friday 31st of January 2020 to be exact.
I’m feeling pensive. Reflecting on my life so far and feeling like I’ve not really accomplished much.
The irony that I was so focused for so many years on getting into medical school so I could save lives, that I forgot to live.
The irony that at the same time I discovered a love for travel and experiencing more cultures, the UK decided to vote to leave the EU. Bloody Brexit.
If today was my last day on this Earth, I would be so devastated. Because after almost 28 years, I haven’t lived. For 24 years, medicine was my whole life. It was how I defined myself. Who am I? “Oh I’m (formerly) the wannabegottabedoctor and I’m a future doctor” I would say. That was it. The sum total of my existence. And then disaster struck. I was forced to leave the medical degree and I felt as if I’d had my whole life snatched away from me.
But today, as I sit at my desk and gaze out of my window at the de-leafed trees and the sky, I realise something. My life was not snatched away from me. No. My life was given back to me. I’m still learning more about who I am but for the first time in my life, I don’t define myself by my profession or my future aspirations. I’m a real person. There’s so much cool s*** about me that I didn’t even realise! I can’t wait to see what else I discover about myself.